I’ve become a slacker mom…and I’m okay with that.
Parenting is the definition of on-the-job training. Babies don’t come with manuals…and even though the countless parenting books on my nightstand and bookshelf try to prove otherwise, not one single source has all the answers. This fact may also come as a surprise to well-meaning strangers, gawkers, and self-proclaimed experts, but I digress…
I started this blog nearly six years ago in an effort to hold myself accountable to the time I had at home with my kids. I would have never guessed how it would have grown in the course of these six years. Although I hope it serves as encouragement to parents to spend meaningful time with their children, I never, ever want my readers to feel like I have all the answers when it comes to parenting.
Here’s the real truth: Â I am probably the most imperfect parent you know.
I can be selfish and terribly impatient.
I can be lazy…and sometimes (probably far more than I would like to admit) I just want my kids to do their own thing and leave me alone.
I sometimes yell at my kids and get frustrated easily (actually while in the process of writing this post).
I don’t always follow my own advice…there are some days every now and then where we don’t read a single book throughout the course of the day! And we certainly don’t do “learning activities” every day!
I am not sharing these things like they are a badge of honor. My shortcomings are certainly not something to be proud of. I am well aware of my failures and pray daily for God to help me overcome my selfishness to become the mother that He desires for my children to have…someone who gives love and grace and who always strives to put herself last. But I also felt like I needed to write this post, especially since many of this narrative is not written into the activity posts I share.
I don’t know if it is wisdom or just sheer exhaustion, but I have become a little bit of a slacker mom as the years have progressed. And honestly, I am just plain tired of over-the-top crafts and activities… I’m just plain done making my kid’s childhood magical.
When I first started this blog when my boys were 2 1/2 and 6 months old, I thought it was absolutely imperative that young children be educationally stimulated every single day. As a first grade teacher, I saw the large discrepancy between children who had been read to and played with on a daily basis and those who didn’t have as nurturing of home environments.
As a new mom, I was much more structured and disciplined to do activities with my oldest than I was with my second born (and now third born). I have often felt guilty for not doing nearly as many activities with Little Brother. But guess what…he is the most creative of all of my children and is doing well in school!
If I’m totally honest…many of the activities that I share on this blog I would not have done if it wasn’t for the fact that I blogged about it. This blog has become my “job” and so a bit of the authenticity has been lost along the way.
So today, I’m giving myself the advice that most of you much wiser than I am have probably already figured it out: Â It’s okay to be a slacker parent. In some ways, anyway.
I will consider it one of the greatest joys of my life if we end up raising kids who have “average” abilities but who loves Jesus and love others with their whole hearts. I am not worried about my kids being the top of their class, stellar athletes, speaking three languages, or becoming a concert pianist. I want them to be kind to others, know they are loved by God and by us, and work hard at whatever they set out to do.
I am telling myself to focus on what matters most:  giving your child love, grace (I’m majorly working on this one), and your time and attention. Read to your child because you both enjoy the snuggles. Play a board game that is fun for the both of you. Put down the structured activities and have a tea party. Go on a walk because it is an opportunity to talk about colors in nature. Practice ABC’s because your child has shown an interest. Most of all,
show them Jesus and how to love others in as many ways as possible.
And let the rest of it go. The Pinterest-perfect birthday parties, the hurried schedule, the perfectly coiffed thematic activities, the cute gourmet lunches with toothpicks. Let. it. go.
PS: Â Guess what? Even a slacker mom can get their kiddos ready for kindergarten!
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Thank you for writing this! I just started blogging and although I want to give some inspiration to my readers I often feel like you do. I have always wondered how all the bloggers I admire so much manage to do it all. As a reader I always thought bloggers were so perfect and it make me question what I was doing. So thank you thank you for this amazing post!
Thanks for your kind words, Isabel! If you could see the state of my house (and myself) at any given moment, you would definitely know that I don’t “do it all”. :) Good luck with your new blog!!
Hi there! I have been following – and loving – your page for quite a while now. Our oldest and second kids are around the same age and your little girl is pretty close to my youngest. I’ve always appreciated your activities, and the way you sprinkled your faith in as “lessons learned”! You’ve come to feel like a kindred spirit in many ways, and here again, I see that in this post. My husband was a little concerned when he saw that I left a tab open titled , “I’ve become a slacker mom and I’m okay with that!”! But what you write is so true, and something I have been feeling, and, at times, struggling with, for a bit now. Thank you for your transparency! I, too, go back and forth on whether it is wisdom or weariness (to put it honestly!). It is no doubt a bit of both, but it IS, nonetheless! I just had to comment and say thank you for again proving to be a kindred spirit.
Haha! I’m sure he was wondering what on earth you were reading. :) So glad this post resonated with you and thanks for leaving a comment!
Deep down we ALL are slacker parents
.. whether we are ok or guilty abt it is the question!
Deep down we ALL are slacker Moms…whether we are ok or guilty abt it is the question!
This is the first post of yours that I am reading and I already like it and I already like you.
You are so authentic and real and it felt as if you took the words right out of my mind and mouth. Indeed, what resounded most for me was the fact that at the end of the day,
“I want them to be kind to others, know they are loved by God and by us, and work hard at whatever they set out to do.”
Thank you for writing this.
With much love from Singapore.
Thank you so much!!!
This may be my favorite post of yours ever :-) I’ve been reading since you started and love the ideas but this post sums up how I feel these days (my precious munchkins are now 9, 6 and 4). Thank you!
The 3rd paragraph from the bottom is quite possibly the best couple of sentences I have ever read in my life! I LOVED this post so much! Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Wise words indeed! I was just passing through when I saw this post. It puts things in its proper place…I would also rather have medium performers who have grace and patience than selfish or dissatisfied super achiever. Thanks :-)
I am a Mom who struggles with Mental health and some hormonal health issues. My house is a mess, yes a bit dirty. I don’t play enough with my kids. The TV is on too much. But I’m doing something right. My 3 year old is a polite and we’ll behaived kid. My 1 year old is so smart. Please let your readers know that even that kind of slacking is OK!